Have you ever lost a life before?

Have you ever heard the song “Coming Home” by P. Diddy? A part I distinctly remember in it is a line that goes… “Have you ever lost a life before?”. That line repeated over and over in my head this morning…

This morning we lost a life. A baby who was growing and happy. A baby who was healthy and beautiful. Last night she was okay. But before the sun rose, she was extremely sick. We did everything we could to save her, but she stopped breathing anyway. We prayed for her. We fought for her. But she stopped breathing nonetheless….

We lost a life.

But she is God’s baby. She always has been, still is, and always will be. He never lost her life…  He just gets to hold her precious soul now Himself. For a time, He let us hold her, love her, and take care of her… but she got to go home today. Hope was found in Heaven today.

The severe diarrhea and vomiting must have spread, because five more of our babies needed to be treated for the same thing today. One after another, they were brought to us by their nannies with the babies’eyes sunken in and lethargic. We’d start IVs on them and then give them fluids all day.  We began a mini 5-bed hospital in Jenn’s apartment room. We had IV fluid bags hanging off the ceiling, window hooks, and a couple off an IV pole. Because the children were so sick, we’d be changing diapers almost nonstop between the five of them. No wonder they were so badly dehydrated… they had nothing left in them. Again, one by one they improved greatly and their fontanels filled back out and their eyes looked normal. There is hope for their time here on earth. Five lives of hope.

This afternoon, a prenatal class went on. They taught about the topics to prevent the troubles that can plague the pregnancies in third world countries. We even have prenatal vitamins to assist with healthy pregnancies. Once the babies are born, the babies are weighed and can consult with a nurse here if they are sick. Thankfully, the vitamins and teaching seems to work well because the babies come in fat and healthy! Today, they got to pick out clothes for their newborn babies, their other children, and sometimes themselves. They don’t have much generally, and these clothes will be a huge blessing to them. These moms are being responsible and attending classes that help them provide the best life they can for their new baby on the way. These babies have a chance at a healthy start in life and some resources to help with exactly that. It makes me so happy to know these moms have newfound confidence in their struggle.

Today I saw unsettling sickness and incredible healing. I saw joy, and I saw pain. I saw life, and I saw death. Through it all, there is peace. There is a never-ending thankfulness to get to be a part of these lives. Life here is not easy, but honestly it is not hard. After we watched a baby die, I got to walk around the corner and see another boy light up because we are there. He giggled and reached out for me because he knows he is loved to fullest extent. He was healthy and happy! God gives us such precious children to take care of for this time, and it is beyond amazing to see the beginning of their journey.

Suddenly losing a healthy baby girl is not something I expected to experience when the knock came at 5 this morning. I couldn’t understand why we could pray and plead, but God still didn’t grant us the life of an innocent girl. But I just need to understand these children are HIS children first. While He may allow us an opportunity to love them, we can’t always keep them here with us on earth when He needs them home.

So, have you ever lost a life before? Here’s the other part to that song:

 “I’m coming home. I’m coming home.

Tell the world that I’m coming home.

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday.

And though Your kingdom awaits, and you’ve forgiven my mistakes..

I’m coming home… I’m coming home.

After all of my shortcomings, welcome to my HOMECOMING…”

God’s baby girl just finally made it home.